Morsmordre
by DarkCowboy
Summary: Draco has never felt so weak and helpless, and he hates it. He enjoys power, he longs for it, that is why he became a Death Eater, but it is not going the way he planned. The only enjoyment he gets is causing Harry Potter pain, but soon this becomes much more than lust for power for Draco, hurting Harry becomes a different kind of lust for him. Draco/Harry, do not expect romance.
1. Chapter 1 - Recovery

Chapter 1 – Recovery

Draco was hurting, but if it was more from physical pain or mental, right there at that moment he couldn't tell.

As he lay in the hospital wing, his eyes closed and the darkness unfolding around him, he sighed and thought back to the previous day.

All he had wanted was to be alone, he didn't like what he was doing as much as he thought he had, he didn't want to do this but he had no choice. Then he came, he came and he attacked.

It wasn't the fight that was the problem; Draco was a good enough dueler to hold his own, even against the precious 'boy who lived'. It was his eyes, the eyes that told him that they had drawn their own conclusions on him, that they would always hate him, that they would always blame him, no matter what.

He remembered hitting the floor, water seeping through his clothes as pain lanced across his chest and back, he remembered the warmth tickle his fingers as his blood flowed out over his body and into the water. He remembered the fear, the fear that he was going to die here, in the toilets, alone and helpless to a spell he had never seen or heard of, by the boy that everyone loved.

He remembered fighting to stay conscious, a black figure sweeping over him and muttering incantations under his breath, then nothing.

He woke up the next morning in the Hospital wing, he had tried to sit up and Madam Pomfrey had pushed him back down, telling him he needed to rest. He didn't want to rest; he just wanted to be alone. Relief washed over him as the skies darkened and he could be left to his thoughts, but now they were just a tangled mess.

He didn't hate Harry, he never had, he just didn't like not getting his own way, he always got his own way. He had never before been dismissed by someone and seeing Potter laughing and bonding whilst he had no real friends was painful. He longed to be able to confide in someone, to love someone and to not be so afraid.

If anything, he hated himself, he missed the part of him that had died when he had been called into the Dark Lord's service. Once, being arrogant, confident and brisk had been him all over, it was natural and easy to feel good about himself, now, nothing could overcome his fear and hatred. He put on a good show, oh yes, he always did, but behind closed doors he felt as helpless as a child.

Not long after he was up and walking, the scars now faint white lines across his pale body, they wouldn't be permanent he had been told. He had taken to trailing his fingers along them when alone, feeling their alien presence on him and wishing he had been able to fight back.

His fellow Slytherins had all welcomed him back with good cheer and threats against Potter, they enquired after him but he could see none of them really cared, no one ever did. He had lost to a Gryffindor; he was a shame to Salazar's name, which was what everyone was thinking.

He had been called to Professor Snape's office before he even got a chance to relax.

"What on earth where you thinking? Taking on Potter like that you foolish boy!"

"I didn't 'take him on' he followed me and attacked me. I just wanted him to leave me alone, I didn't even use proper spells I hoped he would just go away."

"You let your anger get the better of you, you always do! How am I meant to protect you when you constantly step into harms way?!"

"I don't need protecting, especially not from you!"

"Obviously not, tell me, what would have happened had I not found you in that bathroom?!"

Draco leant back against the wall and didn't meet his Professor's eyes.

"Exactly, had it not been for me you would have died! No one knew the counter curse to that spell but I, do you understand that, how that boy came to know it is beyond me."

Draco didn't raise his eyes, he kept scowling at the stone floor as Snape chided him. Finally he could bear it no longer.

"Maybe you should have just left me; it would make your job easier!"

"Left you? I made an unbreakable vow to your Mother to protect you, the easy route is never the right one, you of all people should understand that!"

"Yes yes, the stupid vow, if it weren't for that you could just let Potter kill me and be on your merry way."

"You think just because I am held by the vow that I would let harm come to you otherwise?"

Draco looked up then, trying to hide the surprise on his face as he met Snape's eyes.

Severus's voice softened as he continued.

"I have been friends with your family for many years Draco, your mother has always been kind to me, regardless of your father and I have watched you grow with interest. I would not let anything happen to you whilst it is in my power to stop it."

Draco sighed.

"Thank you Professor, but feeling sorry for me is not what I need right now."

"No, you need guidance and someone to talk to, let me be that person, I am sick of dragging you in here and shouting at you."

"Really, you seem to rather enjoy it." Draco sneered.

"Do not test me Draco, I am trying to help."

"I've told you before, I do-"

"Yes you don't need my help, but you do Draco and you know it."

"He chose me! Not you, me!"

"And are you happy with that?! Does it make you proud? Such an honour to be given to one so young!"

"Don't talk to me like you know what I am going through!" Draco turned his back on Severus, hitting the wall with his fists.

A hand grabbed his shoulders and forced him to turn around.

"Do not speak to me like that boy, I have been in the Dark Lord's service since before you were born! Do you not think I don't know what it is like? I have been through worse than you, stop acting like you are the only one to go through something like this!"

Draco tensed under his hands, feeling the anger coming off Severus in waves, and behind the anger a pain so intense Draco had to look away.

He looked at the ground for a few minutes and Severus released his grip, straightening up and flattening down his robes, when Draco looked up he was standing there as if nothing had happened, a slight smirk on his face.

After a few seconds of staring, Severus's smirk dropped. "Do stop staring Malfoy it is unbecoming of you."

"What happened to you then?"

"Excuse me?"

"What did you do? Why are you like this? There is obviously a reason or you wouldn't have exploded like that."

Snape looked taken aback and folded his arms. "That is of no concern to you; I suggest you remember who you are talking to."

"You said you wanted me to talk to you, so help me understand."

Severus looked him up and down for a moment, as if deciding what to do and unfolded his arms.

"I sold the one I loved to Voldemort, I didn't know, I was young and stupid and now they are gone, he murdered the only person I ever loved. You are lucky you don't have anyone you love just yet Draco, it is even worse than becoming a Death Eater, being in love."

Draco had nothing to say for this, except he felt a stir of pity for the man, but he brushed it away, shrugging off his stare and making to leave the office.

"Do not repeat what I have just told you Draco, I can be a powerful friend, or an even more powerful enemy, remember that."

Draco turned round and smirked, this was more like it. He opened the door and disappeared into the hallway, feeling slightly better despite himself.


	2. Chapter 2 - Torture

Chapter 2 – Torture

He took to wandering the corridors alone when he didn't have classes, he preferred to be alone, it was easier. Alone he could ignore the judgemental stares from other houses, and his own. He could hide in secret rooms and passageways and allow his mind to drift.

It was maybe two days later, as he wandered down the corridor near the prefect's bathroom that he saw Potter, he was alone and looked like he was having a bad day. Perfect, he smiled to himself and made his way to him. Harry tried to ignore him and hurry along but Draco was having none of it, he stopped in front of Harry and without a word and grabbed him, slamming him against the corridor wall as hard as he could and holding his arm up to his throat.

"Thought you could get away with it Potter? Trying to kill me, big brave Potter leaving a fellow student to die."

"Let go of me Malfoy." He spat as he reached for his wand, but Draco was there, grabbing his wand out of his pocket.

"Ah ah ah, we wouldn't want a repeat of a few days ago now would we." He took the wand and put it in his pocket, pushing his arm deeper into Harry's throat.

Harry grabbed at his arm, trying to pull it away and Draco drew his wand, pushing it into Harry's stomach.

"I could do it you know, no one is around, I could drag you into some unused room where no one would find you for days."

"No you couldn't, you're a coward!" He struggled against Draco, but he was taller and stronger than Harry and used that to his advantage.

"No, you're right, that would be too easy, I want you to feel the pain I felt, to know how it feels to live like me."

"What, as Lord Voldemort's little puppet."

"You may be the Chosen One, but your mouth has a habit of running away with you too much it seems." He jabbed his wand harder into Harry's stomach, making the smaller boy wince.

He could feel the anger welling up inside him and he fought to push it down, one wrong move here could prove fatal, he looked left and right quickly, feeling his nerves, trying to keep his arms steady.

"Well, do it already?" He looked back into Harry's eyes and they were mutinous.

"Not this time Potter." He let venom seep into his words as he felt a strange feeling rise up, threatening to choke his words as they came out, he clenched his teeth and stared back, he started to back away, loosening his grip on Harry's robes.

Harry thrust his arm off of him and tried to stand tall, the look in Malfoy's eyes frightened him, not because of the hatred, there was no hatred, that was what scared him. Only anger and something else, something the other boy was trying hard to hide from everyone.

Harry tried to step aside but Draco hit his palm into the wall, blocking Harry's way out.

"Malfoy." Harry tried to keep his voice steady as he kept his eyes fixed on the Slytherin boy.

Draco stepped closer to Harry, not taking his eyes from the other boys, Harry pressed himself back into the wall, Draco was so close he could feel his breath, see every eyelash. His heart was hammering inside his chest and he hoped Draco could not hear it, he was afraid, he didn't know what Draco was capable of, how far he could push him. What if he had pushed him too far, he had his wand and he didn't think he could overpower Draco in a physical battle.

"Give me back my wand."

Draco leant down, his lips next to Harry's ear. "Why, don't you think you, the chosen one, could beat a meagre Death Eater without it?"

Harry grit his teeth at the word Death Eater, he had been right all along, feeling Draco's hot breath on his ear he forgot about that, he could try to make a run for it, but the taller boy still had his wand.

Draco drew back slightly so his face was almost touching Harry's.

"You seem scared Potter, the boy who will happily face off the Dark Lord, frightened by another student."

"I'm not afraid of you Malfoy!"

"How very unconvincing, however, if you say so, I will have to try harder."

Harry's heart thudded harder, there was something so feral about Draco, something that had never been there before, his eyes shone and his voice was steady, but it held such danger and menace in it that it felt like Draco was cutting him open with every word.

He moved his wand hand up to Harry's throat, a malicious smile spreading across his face.

"Are you scared yet."

Harry raised his head, avoiding the tip of the wand and taking him ever closer to Draco. Draco chuckled slightly and pressed it into his throat. "I think you like it really, being helpless, you always want people to help you out of things so you don't have to do them yourself. But there is no one here now, we are all alone."

Harry ran through things he could do in his mind as he felt the wand tip on his skin, he swallowed hard, forcing it past the lump in his throat, he could kick him, or break for it, or try to over power him, but none of these boded good outcomes. He looked away from Draco and the wand was pushed harder until he looked back at him.

"Why can't you look me in the eyes Potter? Afraid of what you see there, afraid that I am not the coward you keep telling yourself I am"

Harry didn't answer, because what Draco had said was true. The wand was starting to hurt as Harry struggled to keep himself pressed back against the wall, Draco hadn't moved an inch, they were so close to each other, maybe he could reach for his wand.

But Draco had already guessed what he was going to do, he grabbed his arm and pinned it above his head, now he moved closer, their bodies touching, Draco crushing his body into Harry's pressing him into the cold stones behind him until it became unbearable.

"Now now Potter, you wouldn't want to upset me would you." Draco whispered and pressed his lips to Harry's. He grabbed Harry's other hand before Harry could move and pinned it with the other with one hand, before replacing his wand to Harry's throat. He forced himself on Harry, trying to hurt him, trying to make him feel afraid. He could feel Harry trying to get away but Draco kept him there, in between the wall and him. Harry bit his lip in a desperate attempt to be free and Draco smiled and kissed him harder, letting the blood flow between them, enjoying its taste.

He broke away and spat blood at Harry's feet. "See you later, Potter." He wiped his mouth on his robe and turned away, taking pointed strides down the corridor before turning back.

"Oh, I almost forgot." He reached into his pocket and took out Harry's wand and tossed it at him. He smirked at the motionless boy and hurried away.

The wand clattered to the floor, but Harry didn't move to pick it up, he just stood there as his whole body screamed at him to do something. He could still taste the other boy's blood in his mouth, and feel it on his face. He could still hear Draco whisper in his ears, his breath like a blast of icy air, warm yet chilling as it went over him.

His body started to shake and he dropped to the floor, sliding down the wall until he landed in a heap, his wand at his feet.

What had just happened? Everything that he had gone through, everything he had survived, times he thought he would die, nothing felt like this, he just felt so wrong, so abused. He could feel tears welling up and tried to blink them away but couldn't. He wrapped his hands in his hair and tugged at it, trying to take his mind away from the pain and turmoil he was feeling inside.


	3. Chapter 3 - Nightmares

Chapter 3 - Nightmares

That was how Ron found him, slumped on the floor with his head in his hands.

"Harry you're going to be late for lessons, Harry?" He rushed over to him and grabbed him.

Harry looked up at him and Ron gasped. "Harry what happened?!"

Harry tried to keep his voice strong, how could he ever explain this to Ron.

"Was it Malfoy?" Harry stiffened at the name and Ron winced.

"Malfoy did this to you?"

Harry nodded slowly.

"Did he hit you?"

Harry nodded again.

"That slimy git I'm gonna kill him!"

"No Ron, just leave it, I deserved it."

"Deserved it?!"

"I nearly killed him a few days ago because I was so stupid."

"Harry that wasn't your fault, the little bastard turned on you."

"Don't Ron, just don't" He shrugged him off and got up, allowing Ron to walk him numbly to lessons.

Draco walked away, a sick sense of satisfaction spreading over him, he liked having power over someone, he had wanted to do that for a long time, he just didn't know it. His lip throbbed from where Harry bit it, but he didn't mind, the pain felt good, it made his thoughts clearer. He looked forwards to meeting Harry again like that, making him hurt, making him tremble before him. He smiled and headed back to the Common Room, he had a free period now and felt like reinstating his power in his house.

Later that evening, Harry was curled up on the sofa by the fire, his arms wrapped around his legs staring into the flames. Ron sat next to him, he kept opening his mouth as if to say something, then closed it again.

"Harry, what is wrong? I've never seen Draco affect you like this before."

"Nothing." Harry replied, not taking his eyes of the dancing flames before him.

"Harry, you're a crap liar. Please I can't stand seeing you like this."

"Like what." His voice felt like an echo, weak and quiet.

"Like, like," he gestured at Harry, "this!"

Harry looked up at Ron slowly. "He just caught me off guard, that's all."

"Doesn't seem like that is all."

"I deserved it ok, I struck him down in the bathroom and nearly killed him and wasn't even brave enough to help, I just left him to die."

"The world would be better off with out him to be fair Harry."

"Don't."

"Don't what."

"Don't say things like that about people."

"Blimey Harry, next thing you know you'll say You-Know-Who has invited you for tea, snap out of it."

"No one deserves to be left like that."

"I could think of a few people."

"Ron just give it up, I don't want to talk about it!"

"Ok, ok, just being a concerned friend is all."

Harry got up without a word and went up to the dormitories, where he crawled under the covers and hugged himself tightly, as sleep took him away Malfoy haunted his dreams, hurting him in more and more intricate ways.


End file.
